April 9, 2010
A Recurrent Word Might Matter
My question is: How do you know, if what you say to the other, has any effect on them? How do you know that it even matters?
Regardless how much you try, it seems like you're talking to a wall because nothing changes. The same issues arise and the same reactions are given. Then you talk to them again, hoping that maybe this time they will hear. Doesn't seem like it. Again.
Year after year it continues and eventually you're thinking of giving up. But there's no way for you to know what other person is thinking or feeling about what you've been saying over the years. Maybe a word or two got deposited, consciously or unconsciously, somewhere.
At some point, their guard may fall down, and you see that so many things you've said have been considered and thought about. But you also realize that the reason for you not seeing it was because of other's fear and pain. It's hard to see yourself flawed. It's hard to recognize that you've been hurting others, including the dearest ones.
All you can do is to express yourself to others. It's none of your concern how it'll be utilized and whether it will be at all. At some point, a word or many recurrent conversations may take a person from one level to the next.