August 28, 2012


Since I was a child, I've been unintentionally taught to judge and criticize myself. I was taught to find flaws and feel that I'm not good enough. The result was the development of my inner critic that called me "stupid," "idiot," "retarded," or some other epithet, when I made a mistake or failed to do or be something that I expected myself to do or be. I have noticed that for the past few years I began to feel odd listening to my inner critic. It seems more and more ruthless and unfounded. Perhaps, it is because I began to see myself from a different perspective - a perspective that holds me as sacred and valuable, no matter what I do. I'm human after all and humans come here to experiment and learn. How would we do that without mistakes, detours, and failures? A few days ago, I forgot to do something simple. My inner critic didn't call me anything. I was merely trying to figure out how come I forgot. I remembered that there were days, when I would call myself "stupid" for that. I said it out loud, just for the heck of it, and cringed. I noticed that I had an adverse reaction. Then I smiled, because I felt the extent to which I have grown to accept myself, even though there's much more room for further growth.

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