June 11, 2011


Today is the 4th or 5th day that I eat things that I prefer I didn't eat. Guilt creeps in and begins to torture me. I have gone such a long way to reach my goal weight and finally look the way I wanted to. Certainly, weight loss was reached by eating too little at times. For the past three weeks I have eaten too little due to me being in a different country. Now that I'm back to the States, I crave chocolate, carbs, and all the stuff that my body hasn't cared about earlier.
My question to myself is: Should I continue my routine of constantly thinking about what and how much I eat? Should I constantly be mindful and limiting?
If my answer is yes, I already know that it will lead to stress. And stress will lead to more unnecessary food. So what should I do?
I guess deep down I know that my only option is to accept change. There is no way around it. The more I deny change, the more rigid I become, the more stressed, and the more discontent. I am accepting the fact that there will be days when I will do things that I'm not proud of. Days when I gain weight. And some more. And then I might not even fit into my dress. But, once that happens, I also know that it's in my hands to regulate my weight and get into that dress again.
The case in point: Oscillation is normal within a personally established range. Once you establish it, give yourself some freedom to move anywhere you want within it.

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