December 20, 2011
Since I started school last year, I failed to properly manage my life, which resulted in great stress and overwhelming feelings. I could no longer do this. I couldn't just walk around, hating the world every day, hating what I loved, and struggling with my anger. What I was doing was trying to fit life into my school, rather than vice versa.
After several failed attempts, I tried another one, because this is what desperate people do. I decided that I would take school elsewhere (to the library, bookstore, or cafe) and the home would be a sanctuary for rest and enjoyment. For the first time I felt it in my bones - the importance of leaving work/school where it belongs and keeping it away from where it doesn't. I realized that by thinking about school during my minimal leisure time meant that I was still doing school. Mentally. As a result, I didn't have any leisure time. That's why it drove me crazy.
Even though my schedule isn't perfect and I still do school at home, it helps tremendously to do it elsewhere at least some of the time. This teaches me to separate school from life and vacates certain amount of energy for recuperation. The principle applies to other areas as well. When I'm at the store, I try to not think about anything else but my primary purpose - buying things I need. I won't be thinking about the papers I need to write, because I can't write them at the store. And I won't be calculating the time I have left for a certain assignment, because I'm still at the store, shopping. Separation keeps me sane and gives me power. It took me only a year to begin to make changes...