It's often tempting to think of myself as not enough or not worthy. Something more like an average. There are days when I doubt myself, the things I do, and the things I aspire for. It's easy to downplay myself and underestimate my abilities and my characteristics as a person. Even though I receive various feedback, positive feedback is included. Then why do I not consider it important enough? Why do I not take it seriously? Why, when I'm being told that I'm beautiful and talented inside and out, do I tend to put a barrier between the words and myself? What does it give me to reject positive feedback? More dejection and disillusionment. This is not the way to go for me. I'm tired of rejecting compliments, especially when I deserve them. Compliments are others' opinions and I can't tell others that their opinions are wrong. But it's in my power to not accept their opinions. I have, for the longest. No more. I'm gradually learning how to choose to say thank you and tell myself, "This is nice that someone took time to tell me how they feel about me." I'm more beautiful and talented than I think I am and maybe it's a good idea to learn to see myself through the eyes of others. Maybe I can learn to pay attention to all those times that I'm being sincerely complimented and realize that these times are quite plentiful.
Really good lesson. It's funny to think that somebody so working, insightful, and compassionate as yourself would have a hard time accepting compliments.
ReplyDeleteThank you :-) I'm much better at this now than a few years ago. It's a process and it feels good!
DeleteIt's great to see you taking heed to what you are doing and how you have been harming yourself. You are absolutely correct in saying that you can't tell others that their opinion is wrong. Others are entitled to their opinion. To take it one step further, try to keep an eye out for all of the positive feedback that you receive (You receive a lot of positive).
ReplyDeleteWhen you receive negative feedback, it is best to take it, make sure that it applies, alter what you can and then move forward. Typically, as human beings, we listen to the positive feedback that we receive and it doesn't stick with us as an absolute; instead, when we hear negative feedback, we take it as meaning this is the totality of who we are and internalize the negative feedback, not that this negative feedback is an attribute that needs improvement.
Thank you for your post; it has made me evaluate my own reluctance to accept compliments and the positive feedback from others.
I agree with everything you said and I will try to take your advice. It takes time to see ourselves more objectively.
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